Family Fun March 2023

Have a go at our March 2023 crossword!

Crossword March 2023

Breakdown …

Yesterday I broke down on the M1. One of those emergency trucks charged me £200 to pull me off. I think it was the abominable towman!

Put it this way …

Some people have a keen sense of rumour.

Some people’s vocabulary is small, but their turnover is terrific.

GO!

A teenager was always asking his father if he could borrow the family car.  Pushed to the limit, the father asked his son why he thought that God had given him two feet.  Without hesitation, the son replied, “That’s easy, one for the clutch and one for the accelerator.”

The Present …

For their elderly vicar’s 70th birthday, the congregation at St Mary’s decided to give him a present of a new suit.  The vicar was so moved by the gift that the following Sunday he stood before everyone and began his homily with a tear in his eye, “Today I am preaching to you in my birthday suit.”


If Biblical Headlines Were Written By Today’s Secular Media

On Red Sea Crossing:  

             WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOUR STRIKE
             Pursuing environmentalists killed

On David vs. Goliath:

             HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
             Psychologist questions influence of rock

On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:

FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY

400 killed

On the Birth of Christ:

             STABLE OCCUPIED, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS
             Animal Rights activists enraged by insensitive couple

On Feeding the 5,000:

             PREACHER STEALS CHILD’S LUNCH
             Disciples mystified at leader’s callous behaviour

On Healing the 10 Lepers:

             LOCAL DOCTOR’S PRACTICE RUINED
             ‘Faith Healer’ causes bankruptcy

On Healing of the Gadarene Demoniac:

             MADMAN’S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
             Local farmer’s investment lost

On Raising Lazarus From the Dead:

             FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK
             Will reading now has to be delayed


Musings On Daily Life

  • ‘Ecclesiastic’ is material used to fasten a clergyman’s robes.
  • A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
  • I am in shape.  Round is a shape.
  • I plan on living forever.  So far, so good.
  • I am having an out of money experience.
  • What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels.
  • A cashew is a peanut with back trouble.
  • What’s a perfect gift for a person who has everything? Storage space.

NEW! – Have a go at our March 2023 Word Search!

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